Is loving ever a waste?

Pouring your heart into someone should make you feel great, right? You spend your time showering a person with love and friendship, and it feels amazing.

The potential of it crashing down is scary - you never know when, or if it the end will come, and ruminating on the topic does not help. Despite these negative thoughts, sometimes people stay where they are not appreciated, simply because of the fear of their time and effort going to waste (cough).

But is loving ever a waste?

I have often felt mad at the world after losing someone important, whether this be friendly or romantic - although mostly romantic. I hate to reminisce on all of the effort, time and affection I dished out, all for it to stop on a random day. Why do I put so much love into the things I might lose?

The reality here is that you can never predict life, so there is no point in half-arsing it.

In this world, you need to be very sure of yourself, and your assets. This is so that it if your relationships do break down, it won't impact you in the way it could others long-term (this is not to say don't trust your loved ones - it is a balance) The emotional turmoil that these endings bring are no match, and no matter how self-assured you are, they are likely to hurt. Many emotions arise during these times, such as sadness, anger and regret. Memories, good and bad, flood through your mind. Whilst feeling is a normal thing , and I repeat, normal, it is imperative to reflect and remember what is truly important.

That you cared. 

Rationalising yourself is crucial post-break up, and instead of jumping on the hate-wagon, we should remind ourselves that the other persons choice is a reflection of their wants, their needs, their character, and often not a reflection of the love that you gave (provided you actually do care about those in your life - if you don't, why are you even reading this?). 

Personally, I am not a fan of jumping on the hate-wagon straight away after a break up. I’d rather be on the leave me alone and let me feel for 5 minutes wagon, if that even exists. 

‘Girl fuck him, he ain’t shit’

Yes, whilst normally they are not shit, you cared for them at one point. When the spotlight is on you, it can feel painful to hear those talk badly about someone you once poured your emotions into. 

Try not to beat yourself up or get angry at the time and effort you gave. This was a reflection of you and the love you have for others. If someone does not want that, then move on and give it to someone else. Even better, why not yourself?

These moments shouldn’t make you feel like you cannot give the same love to someone else in the future. It can hurt to not be appreciated, but it’s life.

It can certainly be difficult starting over, but wouldn’t you rather start a new connection with someone else, than spend one more second with someone who isn’t sure of you? 

You should love the way you want to be loved, and not let anyone else change that.

Loving someone is never a waste.